That's What Fathers Do

 


First of all, I must say it feels really good to be back! It has been over a month since I've written in my journal and nearly three months since I've posted to this blog.

Yesterday I came home from work early. I'd been feeling ill for a couple days so I resigned myself to come home and go straight to bed to give my body some much needed rest. I don't always take the best care of myself. Even now. I have a habit of go, go, going until I can't go anymore.

Well when I woke up this morning I felt slightly better. I got out of bed and looked out the window to see what the weather was like. Overcast and gloomy. Hmmm... I think I'll get back in bed and stay there all day.

Well after having the most amazing quiet time, I was suddenly inspired to write! As soon as the pen hit the paper, it was like healing salve for my soul. Why had I stayed away for so long!? Illness, bad weather, whatever. Whatever it takes to slow me down enough that I get alone and still with God and let Him revive me - physically, mentally and spiritually - with a pen in my hand. I am grateful.

“The root of worry and fear is an orphan spirit.”*

I've been reflecting on this a lot since my pastor said it last Sunday. Not only does it make me extremely grateful for my life transformation since returning to my Father, but it makes me think of those passages in the Bible where Jesus talks about the little children.

“...whoever humbles himself like this child...” {Matthew 18:1-4}

“Let the children come to me and do not hinder them...'” {Mark 10:13-15}

When I read these I always tear up. I picture Jesus sitting down in His robe and sandalled feet and a little child climbing into His lap.

I am that little child.

It makes me think of this line from that song by Josh Garrels, Children of the Earth:

“The older we become, we must become more like a child”

This is one of the many paradoxes I have found to be true in my own spiritual growth. When I was out there on my own and didn't want anything to do with the Father who loved me, I was alone and scared to death. I was selfish and insecure. I did not trust. I was stumbling around in darkness. I was lost.

But when I returned to my Father, He began to transform me...
“from a restless slave into a trusting child.”*

Trusting in Him has changed everything! My life is a lot simpler today but it actually has purpose and meaning for the first time. I am no longer living a selfish and lonely existence. I am secure for the first time.

Secure in my Father's love. And His will for me.

And when the old worries, doubts and fears creep in ...which they often do... I return to the beginning:  SURRENDER.  I live life one day at a time now. And I'm constantly having to turn my life and my will back over to Him, the One who loves me.

Because I am His child and He knows what's best for me. He takes care of me.

That's what fathers do. 

*Josh Lipscomb

We Belong

Dear Rightful Girl (or Boy),

You belong.

You belong on this earth, you belong in the room. You belong to humanity and you belong to everything good and true. You belong.

 

It is truly amazing how we can fool ourselves (or let other things fool us) into believing that we do not belong. We can let every experience we have ever lived through stain our certificate of belonging to be so dark that we can’t remember what it says or what it means.

You belong, and so does she. You belong and so does he. You belong, and so do we. You belong.

An easy way to shift our belief of not belonging is to step back and make room in the circle for others who do not feel as if they belong.....somehow when we remind others, and treat everyone in our life (even if they are only in our life for a few minutes) as if they absolutely belong.....it reminds us that we belong too.

So look around at those whose hands and heads are hanging down.....and bring them into the circle of belonging.....smile at them, SEE them for who they are, SEARCH fiercely to find the most beautiful and unique things in them that they have forgotten and point those things out to them.....and most of all, seek for things that are the same as you, and draw those things deeply into your heart and never forget them.

It’s kind of a little magic trick. When you treat her, and him, as if they belong..........somehow you will forget that you got tricked into believing that you don’t belong. You remember what you already knew.

We all belong.....
and we are all so very very very loved.
 

Thank you to the amazing BRAVE GIRLS CLUB for this awesome guest post.

Stay in the Light.
Love,
Jo 

The Still, Small Voice

Many voices ask for our attention. 

There is a voice that says, "Prove that you are a good person." 

Another voice says, "You'd better be ashamed of yourself." 

There also is a voice that says, "Nobody really cares about you,"

and one that says, "Be sure to become successful, popular, and powerful." 

But underneath all these often very noisy voices is a still, small voice that says, "You are my Beloved, my favor rests on you." 

That's the voice we need most of all to hear. 

To hear that voice, however, requires special effort;
it requires solitude, silence, and a strong determination to listen. 

That's what prayer is.  It is listening to the voice that calls us "my Beloved." 

{Henri Nouwen}

Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise

 

"There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it

There was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I'll scream 'til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out"

I've been stuck in bed sick with a horrible flu for the past four days which succeeded in putting me in this really dark place mentally.  There is something about being sick and isolated that gets me in this funky head space where I start doubting, and then the doubt gives birth to worry and then the worry gives birth to fear. I know I am being tested right now and I'm ashamed to say that my faith and resolve are not as strong as I thought they were.

Today I finally woke up with a tiny bit of physical strength, but still faltering mentally and spiritually.  But I am determined to get out of this funk! The first thing I did was spend some much needed time with my Lord. I'm so grateful I can go to Him when I am weak and He gives me the love, strength, and guidance that I need.  When I confessed all my doubts, His wisdom came to me.  I still don't know what the outcome will be, but I do know exactly what I am supposed to do.  It will require me to humble myself.  It will require me to ask for help.  It will require me to wait on the Lord.  It will require me to pray this prayer in faith: "Father, not my will, but Yours, be done." And it will require me to believe these words: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11













Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise | The Avett Brothers

There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light
In the fine print they tell me what's wrong and what's right
And it comes in black and it comes in white
And I'm frightened by those that don't see it

When nothing is owed or deserved or expected
And your life doesn't change by the man that's elected
If you're loved by someone, you're never rejected
Decide what to be and go be it

There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I'll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out

There's a darkness upon you that's flooded in light
And in the fine print they tell you what's wrong and what's right
And it flies by day and it flies by night
And I'm frightened by those that don't see it

There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I'll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out

There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I'll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out

There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light
In the fine print they tell me what's wrong and what's right
There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light
And I'm frightened by those that don't see it

Speechless

"After all of this, what have I said?
What can anyone say when speaking of God?"

O God, You are the greatest and the best,

The strongest, the most merciful and just,

Absolutely concealed and absolutely present,

Beautiful, mysterious,

Never changing, but changing everything,

Never new, yet never old,

Always in action, yet always at rest,

Attracting all things to Yourself but needing none,

Preserving and fulfilling and sheltering,

Conceiving and nourishing and ripening,

Continually seeking but lacking nothing,

You love without the confusion of emotion,

You are jealous, but without fear,

You owe us nothing, and yet You give to us

as though You were indebted to us.

You forgive what is due You

and yet lose nothing Yourself.

After all this, what have I said?

What can anyone say when speaking of God?

{Augustine of Hippo}


This was my devotion today. It moved me so much I had to share!

Speechless,
Jo

"This is what the LORD says:
'Heaven is my throne,
and the earth is my footstool.
Where is this house you will build for me?
Where will my resting place be?'"
{Isaiah 66:1}


Excerpt from His Parables: The Most Moving Words Ever Written About The Parables of Jesus,
© 2005 by Integrity Publishers. All rights reserved.

Year In Review

As I was sitting in silent reflection this morning, I began writing in my journal. I must admit that the holidays are always a little difficult for me, and this year was no exception. I had a couple of rough patches, but with a lot of prayer and support from the amazing people in my life, I was able to push through and evade the darkness that sometimes tries to creep back in. Once I got my emotions out on paper, I felt the need to begin documenting all of the amazing things that have happened in my life this past year. Counting my blessings is always so cathartic for me. 

As I began to write, I began to feel such joy! I quickly filled up three pages. The list continues to grow as I look back over old pictures and journal entries and blog posts and reminisce on the memories I’ve made this year. I am indeed blessed! 

Here are some of the highlights of my past year:

LIFE. I am so grateful to be alive today. When I was dead spiritually, and lost in myself, I merely existed. Today I am truly alive, eternally alive, and so grateful to be finally living my life! I am so excited at the possibilities of my new life and God’s plan for me, I want to soak up everything and cherish every moment, person, experience and memory to the fullest!

HEALTH. Considering how I abused my body for so long, I am in perfect health! I am so grateful to God for His amazing protection and healing!

RECOVERY. In August I celebrated two years clean and sober.   I owe it all to God.  He has done for me what I could not do for myself! I am truly recovering and trudging the road to happy destiny!

PEOPLE. God has brought so many people into my life in the past year that have loved me, inspired me and challenged me to grow spiritually: Mrs. Patti and Mrs. Kaye from my old church; my counselor Darlene; my old roommate Jen; my supervisor and mentor DeAnna; my sponsor and mentor Margaret; the amazing fellowship of AA and the people in my home group, Courage at Noon; my friend and roommate Rachael; my fellow AmeriCorps members; my friend and office mates George and Katy; my old friend and intern Katie; Rafi and the talented artists at the Palafox Market; and of course, all of my friends and family back in Louisiana and across the country that continue to love me, support me and inspire me from afar.

SPIRITUAL GROWTH. By devoting much time to prayer, meditation and study, I have grown leaps and bounds spiritually. I was talking to my roommate this morning about looking back at old journal entries and being amazed at the growth I had experienced in just a few short months. Through the study of scripture and other spiritual writings and by applying the spiritual principles of AA, my mind is being renewed and my spirit is growing and thriving!

SERVICE. The more I grow spiritually, the more I desire to be a servant. Through my work with AmeriCorps and my service in recovery, church and community, I seek to grow more like Christ every day and to live by the words He spoke to the disciples in Mark 10:45.

CHURCH. I found my new church family at Liberty North after they began a series entitled SERVOLUTION, the mission of former pastor, Dino Rizzo, of Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge. His mission and vision are identical to the one God has given to me and I believe the entire Body of Christ.

BEAUTY. God has given me this new set of eyes. Before I never even noticed all of the beauty that is around me. Now I am truly enamored with it! I just can’t get enough of people, music, art, nature. I love watching the sun set, the leaves on the trees, the petals on the flowers, the birds singing, the squirrels playing, the waves crashing on the beach, the amazing gifts and talents in the people I meet, good books, good conversation, laughter, all of the amazing things that I seemed to overlook when I was merely existing. I’m so grateful to finally be able to see and appreciate all of the beauty around me.

FAITH. The only thing I can say about faith is that having it is so much better than not having it. My faith is what has enabled me to make it to this point. It means I trust in God and not myself. I truly believe that He works all things together for my good. I am finally able to conquer my fears and do things I once thought impossible! I am finally able to recognize and seize opportunities when they come my way!

FAVORITE LITTLE THINGS. Now I appreciate the little things. It is the sum of these favorite little things that come together to give me a rich, satisfying life. My beach cruiser bicycle, my new apartment, the comfy bed that Rachael gave me, my black hoodie, getting to see John Mark McMillan play, watching the Blue Angels, going to the beach, having coffee with the artists at Palafox Market, sunset dinners at Jaco’s, the fountain at Long Hollow Park, my sister’s amazing artwork, lunch with Rachael after church, coffee at The Leisure Club, going to the movies, reading a good book, discovering new music, watching Game of Thrones...these are just a few of my favorite little things.

Looking back, I am completely overwhelmed with gratitude for what God has done in my life this past year.

Looking ahead, I am filled with wonder and expectation for what the future holds.

Happy New Year! I pray your 2013 is filled with amazing things!