..:♥:.. [The contemplations of one former prodigal.] ..:♥:.. [love.] ..:♥:.. [life.] ..:♥:.. [and other random musings.] ..:♥:..


30 November 2011

Poverty

Listening to Your voice, so soft and deep
You catch my tears, softly whisper don’t cry
As You save me from my old familiar fears
You speak sweet truth to drown out all the lies

You pulled me out of the miry clay
You set my feet on solid ground
But sometimes I still feel so ashamed
Cuz I still question, I still doubt

Broken, needy, poor and weak
Is that what You want me to be?
You told me that the poor are blessed
And now I think I know what You mean
Oh Lord, will I ever make it out of this poverty?

Darkness used to be my closest friend, I know
And the same old lies still try to drown
This hope You put down deep inside
But I just can’t give in,  I can’t go back down

You brought me out of the pride and pain
Now I would be a fool to walk alone
So why do I still feel this way?
Why do I still try to be strong?

Broken, needy, poor and weak
Is that what you want me to be?
You told me that the poor are blessed
And now I think I know what You mean
Oh Lord, will I ever make it out of this poverty?

So…
If the poor are blessed
If you comfort those who mourn
If the meek shall inherit the earth
Then don’t let me get up off the ground
The only riches I’ll ever need
Are found on my knees
So Lord, I pray…That I never make it out of this poverty

10.01.11
Inspired by The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:1-11)

28 November 2011

I'm Not Who I Was

I'm Not Who I Was by Brandon Heath
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was

25 November 2011

The Heart Of A Missionary?

As I am reveling in the nostalgia of being home for the holidays, I can't help but wonder about all the places God is going to take me throughout the remainder of my life. I am such a sentimental person, I just realized, and I feel like so much of my heart is still here in Louisiana. There truly is no place like home for the holidays. Being back here has really shown me that!

Even still, a piece of my heart now belongs to Pensacola, Florida. This is where I accepted Christ and He redeemed me and gave me this calling. If He hadn't pulled me up out of the mire in Louisiana and brought me here, I never would have found my purpose. Satan would have succeeded in taking me out! But all praise, glory and honor to God because He is sovereign and His will always prevails!
So, my question is “Do we leave a little piece of our hearts everywhere we go to minister the Gospel?” If God is calling us to the life of a missionary, that means we must go WHEREVER He leads us, WHENEVER He leads us, regardless of how attached we are to the people or the places we have been called to. My heart already aches for all the people and places I will grow to love, but have to leave. Sigh...

Lord, strengthen me, so that I can do Your will. I know it is not going to be easy, but I know it will be eternally worth it!

“This is what the LORD says:
'Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,” declares the LORD. They will return from the land of the enemy.'” -Jeremiah 31:16

“They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
'You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by Your will they were created and have their being.' -Revelation 4:10

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” - Revelation 21:4

23 November 2011

Beware of Distraction

The Distraction of Contempt

 “Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us! For we are exceedingly filled with contempt” (Ps. 123:3)

What we must beware of is not damage to our belief in God but damage to our Christian disposition or state of mind. “Take heed to your spirit, that you not deal treacherously” (Mal. 2:16). Our state of mind is powerful in its effects. It can be the enemy that penetrates right into our soul and distracts our mind from God. There are certain attitudes we should never dare to indulge. If we do, we will find they have distracted us from faith in God. Until we get back into a quiet mood before Him, our faith is of no value, and our confidence in the flesh and in human ingenuity is what rules our lives.

Beware of “the cares of this world...”(Mk. 4:19). They are the very things that produce the wrong attitudes in our soul. It is incredible what enormous power there is in simple things to distract our attention away from God. Refuse to be swamped by “the cares of this world.”

Another thing that distracts us is our passion for vindication. St. Augustine prayed, “O Lord, deliver me from this lust of always vindicating myself.” Such a need for constant vindication destroys our soul's faith in God. Don't say, “I must explain myself,” or, “I must get people to understand.” Our Lord never explained anything – He left the misunderstandings or misconceptions of others to correct themselves.

When we discern that other people are not growing spiritually and allow that discernment to turn to criticism, we block our fellowship with God. God never gives us discernment so that we may criticize, but that we may intercede.


11.23.11
My Utmost For His Higest, By Oswald Chambers
http://www.utmost.org/
Aside from my Bible, this little book of dynamite has really challenged me and grown me spiritually over the past year. I go to it nearly every morning now!

22 November 2011

Divine Love

We all have different stories, but what binds us all together is that we’re all created in God’s image, and He loves us all the same. His love is not the “love” the world speaks of. It’s true love. It’s divine love. 1 John 3:16 says: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” Divine love not not only saves our souls for eternity, it saves our lives while we are still here! Divine love has the power to eclipse everything we once held dear and every bit of pain and suffering we have had to endure. I remember the first time I encountered the love of God – it was so much better than anything I’d ever experienced on this earth. It’s the only reason why I am alive today. And if you are still breathing, it’s not by chance. God has a plan for you and wants to use you to fulfill His good purposes. Please don’t take that lightly. This is my sincere prayer.

Lord, I pray that the following song would cause us all to meditate on your great love for us. Bring about freedom, that we may worship You in Spirit and in truth. And for all who have yet to experience Your great love, move on their hearts and let them not wait another moment. Tomorrow is never guaranteed; today is the day of salvation. Once a person encounters your love, they are never the same! Holy Spirit, have Your way. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

 
How He Loves by David Crowder Band
11.9.11

21 November 2011

Where Your Treasure Is

I must say I was slightly annoyed when I was recently forwarded this Rick Warren devotion by email:

[[[“Wise people live in wealth and luxury, but stupid people spend their money as fast as they get it” –Proverbs 21:20, TEV.  Today’s verse shows us God’s IQ test. Let’s see how smart you are: Wise people save for the future, but foolish people spend whatever they get. If we want God’s blessing on our finances, we must learn to save and invest for the future. We need to save regardless of income because the point is that God is teaching us to be disciplined and wise with our money. He is teaching us to live on less than we make each month so that we can intentionally put away some to save. God says that’s being responsible.]]]

Huh??? First of all, I want to say that I agree with the issue of responsibility here. What I don’t like is when statements from human beings (with finite minds like my own) start with “God says…” Second, what translation of the Bible is this? I’m concerned that it could be misinterpreted that wealth is the defining factor of whether or not someone is wise. And how irreverent is the comment about God’s IQ Test!?! For crying out loud!

So, when I looked up numerous other translations of the same verse, most of them were stated more like this:
“There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise, but a foolish man spendeth it up”  –Proverbs 21:20, NKJV. While I believe God blesses us all differently, he expects us to be good stewards of our material blessings. I do not believe that he intends for all Christians to be wealthy, and I certainly don’t believe any should live in excess or luxury. There are people who lived meagerly, if not downright poor, and they are some of my greatest heroes of the faith…i.e. Jim Elliot, Amy Carmichael, Paul of Tarsus:
“What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him.”-Phillipians 3:8-10,NIV

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."       -Phillipians 4:11-13, NIV

He was the “Who’s Who” of the Jewish elite before he encountered Jesus on the Damascus Road, and then he gave up everything to follow God, even when it meant shipwrecks, beatings, prison, going hungry, freezing cold, and even death. Paul followed God with no regard for his own personal comfort or safety.  I believe too many modern teachers like Rick Warren promote a “prosperity gospel” and that is not the full truth! Remember, we must never conform the Gospel to support our worldview, instead we must conform our worldview to the Gospel.

Jesus had quite a bit to say about money, and His teachings were considered radical back then. And they are considered just as radical among many Christians today. Because of what Jesus says throughout the gospels, I believe that the treasures and oil spoken of in the Proverb are the “spiritual riches of wisdom and devotion to God,” not “treasure on earth."

"Then shall the Kingdom of Heaven be likened unto ten virgins, who took their lamps and went forth to meet the bridegroom.  And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.  They that were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.” -Matthew 25:1-4, NASB 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” –Matthew 6:19-21,NASB
“Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, ‘One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.’”  – Mark 10:21, NASB
“And He told them a parable, saying, ‘The land of a rich man was very productive. And he began reasoning to himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?’ Then he said, ‘This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry.’ But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?’ So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.” –Luke 12:16-21,NASB
“And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury. And He saw a poor widow putting in two small copper coins. And He said, ‘Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them; for they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on.’ And while some were talking about the temple, that it was adorned with beautiful stones and votive gifts, He said, As for these things which you are looking at, the days will come in which there will not be left one stone upon another which will not be torn down.’”-Luke 21:1-10, NASB

I believe there are many who are materially wealthy and broke spiritually. To be what is considered poor, responsibly meeting all of my financial obligations and giving until it hurts, like Jesus said, this is what I believe will make me wealthy and wise. I believe that this is the abundant life Jesus spoke of in John 10:10. Such is the life of a missionary, and that’s the kind of life I want.



As you can see, this is something I’m very passionate about…I’ll step down off of my soap box now. LOL. ;)

20 November 2011

My Mission Statement

The Call: Vocational Ministry, Missions

Mission“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you…” –Matt. 28:19-20a

Burdens: Serving My Fellow Man, Discipleship of Youth & Young Adults, Global Missions

Focus: Initially on Youth (teens and young adults), with an emphasis on missions (both here and abroad); eventually full-time missions (abroad).

Goals & Desires:
*To be a lifelong student of God’s Word;
*To continuously seek deeper levels of intimacy with God through dynamic prayer and meditation on His Word;
*To see youths and young adults “spur one another on toward love and good works”;
*To disciple and prepare them to bring the Gospel to the world;
*To be a missionary, whatever that entails, and wherever it takes me; unto death.

Spiritual Gifts:
Evangelism, Mercy, Shepherding
Other Gifts:
*Creativity – specifically music (writing & singing) and words (written & spoken);
*Detail-oriented – memory, analytical & organized;
*Insight – pertaining to the study & exposition of Scripture;
*Computer Software – Proficient in many software applications and the Web & enjoy helping others in this area.

Heroes of the Faith:

“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” –Paul of Tarsus (Acts 20:24)


“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” –Paul of Tarsus (Phillipians 1:21)

“…Then they said to the king, ‘Daniel, who is one of the exiles from Judah, pays no attention to you, Your Majesty, or to the decree you put in writing. He still prays three times a day.’  So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him into the lions’ den. The king said to Daniel, ‘May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!’” –Daniel, The Prophet (Daniel 6:20)

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” –Jim Elliot
“If I am afraid to speak the truth lest I lose affection, or lest the one concerned should say, ‘You do not understand’, or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the other's highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” –Amy Carmichael

At Your Feet

Here I am again
Broken at Your feet
I need You more and more with each passing day
Its not what I expected, depending on You
I thought it would be harder, but its not
Its better than depending on myself
Which is always hard, because I’m not
Dependable.
Here I am again
Humbled at Your feet
I find myself stealing away more and more these days
Looking for glorious moments to spend alone with You
When no one else is around, now I’m at ease
Its not lonely all by myself
Anymore, because I’m not
Alone.
Here I am again
Grateful at Your feet
I find myself weeping under the power of Your Spirit these days
Asking You to bring the fire, so that my heart  will change
Its like I’m breathing for the very first time
I’m not hollow inside anymore
I was dead, but now I’m truly
Alive.
Here I am again
I belong at Your feet
I know its where I will spend the rest of my days
Resting in Your love, letting You strengthen me there
And now I finally know what peace is
Here with You, I am safe, I know I am
Loved.


10.5.11




Prayer

God of mine, every single word You say is true.
I am in awe of how You do everything You say You will.
I am more committed now than ever before.
I pray for more faith and even more devotion to You.
Open up my heart so I can love You even more.
I pray for the kind of love that put Jesus on that cross.  I want to know that kind of love.
I pray for insight into Your Word and the eternal riches of Your heavenly wisdom.
I pray that I would not only be a hearer, but a doer, of the Word.
I pray that I would not only seek knowledge, but seek to apply that knowledge to my practical, everyday life.
Give me the strength to follow You wherever You tell me to go.
Give me the ability to obey Your commands, no matter if I have to go it alone.
I pray that others will have a renewed commitment to serve You.
I pray that others will lay it all down for You.
I pray for young men and women who are ready to be radical for You.
I pray that the lukewarm would catch on fire.
I pray that this place would be a HOUSE OF PRAYER.
I pray that Your church would give more and more resources to missions in the coming years.
I pray for revival to begin in my heart, then sweep throughout this ministry, throughout Your Church, throughout the city of Pensacola, the state of Florida, throughout the Gulf South, my home state of Louisiana, throughout our nation, and to the ends of the earth.
I pray continued favor and protection over my earthly father and I pray for protection and people to minister and speak the name of Jesus Christ to my lost and hurting loved ones.
Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come.
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive power and wealth and wisdom and honor and strength and glory and praise forever and ever.
Hallelujah! What a Savior! What a God!
Amen.
10.12.11



Jesus, My Rock, My Refuge

Though a storm may be brewing on the horizon
And the clouds may be rolling in
There’s a refuge for my soul now
Because I abide in HIM

JESUS, I’m so glad I found You
Oh, what a difference Your love has made
You’re the ROCK to which I cling for life
My secret weapon for every day

So let the lightning crash and the rain come down
Those old lies will never pull me away
He’s my calm in the eye of the storm now
He makes me smile in spite of my pain

JESUS, hold me close, hold me tight
Don’t let go and neither will I
You make me feel safer than I’ve ever felt
Your love is so faithful it makes me cry

Like a ray of light in the darkest sky
With HIM I can conquer anything
I will call on HIM and He will bring me through
He’s my REFUGE in the storms this life will bring

11.29.11










[[What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?]]
-Romans 8:31, NIV

Jesus, Be Glorified

Lord, I’m Yours
Created by You, for You
Use my life to fulfill Your good purposes
Let me show the world Your Power through me
Don’t let me fear what others fear
Give me Your strength and lead the way
I want to live a life worthy of You
Your lost child has come home to stay
You changed my heart and its selfish desires
My heart now longs to serve You alone
Your love burns down in the depths of my soul like fire
Your Spirit washes over me
And I am filled with wonder
Lord, I love You
Lord, I need You
I can’t go another second without You near
Lord, I praise You
Lord, I fear You
My heart’s desire is to bring honor and glory to Your name
Jesus is Your name
The Name Above All Names
My hope and my salvation
I will love You for the rest of my days
12.31.10

I wrote this on my birthday last year.









Jesus, I pray that you continue to be glorified through my life in the coming year. Amen!